Matthew and I were unofficially engaged last year this time,
but we had not announced it because he had not yet asked my Dad and my Grandma for my hand in marriage.
I knew that he was the one because God had given me four intensely prophetic
dreams in a row one day as I was fasting and praying over our relationship. After that I just knew. God gave me grace. My heart was set upon the Lord's promise.
In many small ways and a few very large ways, the Lord confirmed to me that Matthew was the one. The first large sign happened a year ago when we had to spend our very first Valentine’s Day traveling to a funeral for my dearly
beloved spiritual Mom Rhonda Montgomery. She had been the first lady at my home church. That was one of the hardest funerals
for me because of the way that she died was very similar to the way that my own
Mom had died on March 3, 1999. This whole season from February 3- March 8, tends to be very painful and sad for me every year. I revisit my grief over lost loved ones and I am distracted by sorrow.
Matthew helped me drive the 434 miles north to attend Rhonda’s
funeral. He was by my side the entire time and let me cry on his shoulder. This was the saddest and hardest way for him
to meet my family and church family. I knew that he was the one for me because
he was so gentle and loving and caring.
I remembered at her funeral, Rhonda saved my life one day when she told me back in 2010:
"Never settle for less!" I needed to hear it. At the time I was confused and dating a young man who had tried to rape me. Rhonda gave me the strength to move forward and disconnect my self from that young man. I took her advice and God saved my life and protected me. I did some soul-searching, I prayed, I repented, and I waited. And one day, just as I had asked God, my husband and I met under the trees at seminary. I now know what LOVE looks like because I learned to love myself through the eyes of God. And I am learning to allow myself to be loved by others who see me in the same light. LOVE never fails.
The next morning after the funeral my Dad took us out to breakfast. Matthew and I
had to drive home on February 15th because we had to be in class
(and work) at Fuller the following Monday.
Matthew didn’t have the chance to ask my Dad because my Dad
was so excited!
“So, you want to marry my daughter?!” Dad said smiling
really big.
“Uh, YES!” Matthew exclaimed as he had been caught off guard. He gathered his strength and
poured out his heart, but Dad was already convinced. We were then officially
engaged. But we didn’t tell anyone until Julie and Don, my in-laws, were on
board with the news and excitement.
We enjoyed one of the best breakfast I have ever tasted.
The waffles were fluffy and fresh, the coffee was amazing, the orange juice
sang…Every bird, every tree leaned in and blessed us with whispers from heaven. We were in LOVE!
It had been a very sad and heart-wrenching Valentine’s Day and weekend,
but I have such fond memories of Rhonda my spiritual Mom and that amazing
breakfast where my husband and my Dad became the two most important men in my
life, connected forever by the love they both have for me. I imagined my Mom and Rhonda celebrating together in heaven over our engagement.
The next month, on March 28th just a few hours
before Good Friday, Matthew proposed and took me horseback riding in the SoCal
mountains. Even our horses were lovers. My horse Bailey followed Matthew’s
horse Ozzy very closely. She did not want Ozzy to be out of her line of sight.
I cannot help but to
ponder the LOVE of God over us. How He fights for us so passionately! He is a
zealous God and one of His names is Jealous Jealous! God looks upon you and is
in awe of His own creation, He ponders you (Psalm 139) and His thoughts towards
you are numerous and more in number than the sands of the sea. He dances and
rejoices over you, He sings, He makes mad circles around you in exuberant joy!
(Zephaniah 3:17-20). I remember Rhonda leading me to this verse one day and I
have pondered it ever since. God loves us so much!
Misty Edwards sang a song asking the question: what does
LOVE look like?
I pray that as you listen, the Lord inspires and comforts
you in His amazing LOVE.
LOVE endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.
It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) anddoes not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights orits own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].
It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.
Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].
Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end]. As for prophecy (the gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose), it will be fulfilled and pass away; as for tongues, they will be destroyed and cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away [it will lose its value and be superseded by truth].
I Corinthians 13:4-8
