Musings From the Desk of A Theologian's Wife

Last June I married a theologian, a seminarian, a real man of God with a good Bible name: Matthew. I feel like this man is someone whom the Lord really has gifted me with and I am joyfully living in the proverbial marital bliss.

...I fell deeply in love with Jesus during my 430+ mile journey from Northern California to Southern California. I had to learn how to think for myself and to trust in Him. My faith was greatly challenged and stretched. I took small steps of faith that felt like giant leaps. I realized that I was putting all those stories in the Bible to test. Were they really real? I thought to myself. Were these people who really lived and did courageous things? I mused. Because if all those stories in the Bible are true, and if all those people really lived, then I needed to find out if this same God would prove Himself powerful in my little life as well. I needed to see Him move in great and amazing ways over my tiny corner of the earth. 

I was tired of being a depressed Christian! Enough already! No more lies. I wanted the truth. I wanted to see this God in action and in my life.

I found myself struggling to begin a new and academic life in a very prestigious seminary in Southern California. I already had a masters degree. However, I knew that I was in the right place at the right time. I knew that at any moment this God of Abraham, this God of Jacob, this God of Paul the apostle was going to prove Himself powerful in my life. And HE did. I began to have these divine encounters. I began to have divine appointments with people, with great men and women of God. I began to see and hear this God speaking to me. I saw Him in visions and was very moved to greater intimacy with Him.

This God who sent His son Jesus to die for me was reaching out in the most beautiful and unusual ways. I spent much time getting to know Him through His son Jesus. I fell madly in love with Jesus. One touch of His hand on my life and I am now truly changed. I have been baptized in His amazingly furious and glorious love! This baptism caused me to be transformed and renewed in my mind, in my thinking and in my daily activities, (NIV 1984, 2 Corinthians 5:17, Romans 12:2).

I began to have many, many more mystical experiences that are off the charts and inexplicable. I have found the need to blog some of these experiences because He is a jealous God and His love for you is extended. Anyone can come and meet with Him face to face and be changed as I have been.

I cried out to Him for an husband, to end my days of reproach, and He answered me. He heard the cries of my heart and sent me a good man who is everything that I have prayed for, and more. We met at the seminary where this amazingly loving God sent me to study and grow into the young woman that He has called me to be. 

This God whose name is LOVE, has written my love story by first encountering me with His love. My life has begun.

These are the mystical writings of the wife of a theologian.

The Theology Behind Ebeneezer Scrooge

There is a bit of theology behind the story of Ebeneezer Scrooge...

One could muse that the three ghosts visiting him were really angelic beings with prophetic messages from God appearing to him in a prophetic dream from God. The dream takes him on a spiritual journey through his entire life. He is reminded of all the high points and low points of his life in the dream. Every event that formed the character of the man he had become.

The ghost of Christmas past reminded him of where he was in life.

The ghost of Christmas present explained to him what he had become.

And the ghost of Christmas future warned him of what he would become.

Of course, Charles Dickens, the author of the novel A Christmas Carol, writes in such a way that the ghosts appearing to Scrooge appear in a prophetic dream sent from God. It was not what one might call a “pizza dream” where you dream something crazy because of what you ate the night before....
I could even go out on a limb further and speculate that the second ghost, the ghost of Christmas present was a vision of God himself as viewed through human eyes with poor spiritual vision. Mankind has put God in a box. Remember, for example, the super bowl commercial with God and the bottle of tobasco sauce? This is mankind's general view of God. That God does not care, that things are happenstance or accidents. Not true.

“Are there no poorhouses? Are there no prisons?” Scrooge heard himself saying.

Of children he said something about a much needed
“...decrease in the surplus population.”

Has mankind not said the same thing as Scrooge? With gendercide or selective births? With genocide? Are the prisons not overcrowded because of dysfuntion? And the poorhouses overwhelmed? At the time of the birth of Jesus there was a genocide. Did you know that King Herod tried to have Jesus killed? He ordered the murder of all babies under the age of 2. But the Lord sent an angel to Joseph (Jesus's step-father) in a warning dream and Joseph knew how to protect his family from Herod, (Matthew 2).

You see, some dreams are warnings of things to come and God speaks to you giving you the strength and wisdom to know how to avoid those dangers. I think this is what Dickens was trying to say in his novel.

The night before Christmas was one long cold and eventful night for Scrooge! You know those dreams that are so intense that you toss and turn and you wake up in a cold sweat with the blankets and sheets tightly wrapped around you? It was that kind of a dream. The kind where you wake up with a jump. Scrooge woke up with a jump and tons of adrenaline after that dream!

God speaks to us through our dreams. You just have to be willing to ask God the question: “What were you trying to show me through this dream, Lord God?” A lot of times our dreams hold lots of symbolism that we have to sort through prayerfully.

Scrooge did not need to analyze the symbolism in is dreams for too long. The message came through loudly and clearly: he needed to make some changes in his life or else he would die miserable, which he was, and alone which he was. And no one would bother to come to his funeral because he was so filled with greed and a love for money. His love for money overtook him so much that he was neglecting his own well-being and the needs of his employee.

What dreams have you given up? Have you stepped on people to get to the top? Has the love of money or something earthly and unimportant taken over your heart to the point that it consumes you? Have you lost your compassion for those lest fortunate than you? Has depression overtaken your life?

The only thing eternal about you is your soul. Will you go to heaven if you died today?

There are a lot of wealthy people in the world who give money to the poor because they realize that it makes them feel better about themselves. But how much better it is to give because your heart has been changed, touched by God!

I urge you to receive the gift that God has sent to all of mankind. This gift has changed the world. This gift has the power to make all things work together for good, (Romans 8:28).

The gift was Jesus the Son of God who came to earth as a baby and was fully human and fully divine. He had no sin in him or on him. He came to save those of us who were lost and to bring us to salvation so that we might come to know the love of God for all of mankind.

What can we take away from the story of Ebeneezer Scrooge? Learn to love people the way God loves people. But first, you have to experience that love personally by asking Him to come into your heart.

Thoughts
Where would you go if you died today? What legacy would you leave behind?

Prayer
Dear God, help us to be kingdom minded. Teach us how to live everyday as if it were our last day before meeting you in eternity. Teach us to pray, order our steps in your holy WORD. Fill us with your compassion, Lord. Help us to submit to you praying "thy kingdom come, thy will be done" now and forever more. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Read
Matthew 1-2, Luke 1-2

Song in My Head
'I'm waiting. I'm waiting on you Lord, and I am hopeful. I'm waiting on you Lord...' -While I'm Waiting, John Waller

Bitterness

Several days ago, I was about to cook something tasty. I had all the ingredients on the counter and I was cooking the meat. I was eager for a delicious meal. I grabbed a yellow onion and began to cut and peel the onion. It looked perfect on the outside. It smelled great too. I just love onions and I use them a lot with garlic and lots of spices when I cook. I had purchased this particular onion at one of my favorite stores that is well-know for selling great produce at low prices. I eagerly cut into the onion which was juicy and perfectly round. Had a big disappointment because the onion was rotting on the inside. There was fuzzy green mold in the center of the onion. Yuck!

This is heavy on my heart today: the Lord began to speak to me about Christians who are like this onion... They are beautiful on the outside, but their hearts are filled with bitterness and they are rotting from the inside out at the root. Do no let bitterness, unforgiveness, sadness, and sin take root in your hearts! You can look good on the outside, but be a complete fake on the inside. Eventually, this rotting, this bitterness will show. What's done in the dark will be brought to the light, (Psalm 139).

Have you been secretly cursing your brother or sister? Have you been saying things against people in your heart? Time to let it go. Give it all to God so that you can move on. We are coming to the end of a season of purging. Purging is cleansing. God has been wanting to cut away at the roots of the bad things that are growing deep in our hearts. So of us need to have those roots prayed over by intercessors. Some roots go deep into family histories and generations.

God wants a fresh start for you and for the future generations that will be influenced by you! No more fake Christians! Everybody has to "grow up" in the realm of the supernatural world, in God's eyes. It's time to move forward for real, (Philippians 3:14)!

What's holding you back? Are you hurting because of something that someone said or did to you in the past? Can't let it go? Can't forget? The fastest way to move forward is to let go of unnecessary baggage that has been holding you down, (Hebrews 12:1-2).

Lay it all on the altar before the Lord. Time to get it all right with God. Time is running out. This is your opportunity to make things right with God! How exciting! The one true Living God wants to give you and me the chance to make things right before Him! This is grace and mercy!

If you have never asked God to come into your heart, you have to go through His Son Jesus who shed His blood to pay for our sins so that we could be made whole in the eyes of God the Heavenly Father. And Jesus was victorious in conquering the sins of the entire world, and in conquering the enemy for our sakes! My debt on His account, you r debt on His account: Paid in full. All you have to do is confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord.

Pray this prayer if you don't know Jesus, or re-confirm your relationship with God now and be free from bitterness in Jesus' name!

Lord Jesus, Son of the Living God, I want you to be Lord of my life. I ask that you would come into my heart and forgive me of my sins. Make me whole and complete in you! Deliver me from bitterness, no more "rotting onions" in my life! Lead me on the path of right living. Show me your glory! Let righteousness, joy, and peace be mine in the Holy Ghost! Help me to be kingdom minded from now on. Thank you for saving me, Lord Jesus! I pray this in your name, Amen.

Now, if you don't go to church, go and find a Bible-believing church to help you get filled and re-filled with the Spirit of God and the Word of God. God will lead you. Just ask Him for guidance. I will be praying for you as well.
 
Read
The book of St. John, Philippians 3:14, Galatians 5:1, Hebrews 12:1-2, Proverbs 3:5-6

Song in My Head
'I will be with you. I'll never leave you. I'll fight your battles. If only you would trust me. Trust me. Trust me.' - R.S. & Vision

Rebellion

The Bible says that the sin of rebellion is just as bad as the sin of doing witchcraft. There are levels of sin, but all sin leads to pride and bondage and separation from God.

The prophet Samuel said these words to King Saul one day to inform him that his anointing to be king over Israel was being removed because of his stubbornness and rebellion.

Yes, God's love is far reaching, deep, wide, incomprehensible, and amazing! But when you commit sin knowing that it is against God, knowing that it is wrong, knowing that it hurts the heart of God, this separates you from Him.

Rebellion is rejecting the Word of the Lord, (1 Samuel 15). The Word of the Lord became flesh and dwelt among us, John 1) . The Word of God is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path, (Psalm 119:111)! The Word of the Lord is Faithful and true, (Revelation 19:11)! The Word of the Lord was with God in the beginning, (John 1). The Word of the Lord cannot go out and return void once it leaves the mouth of God it must bring forth a plentiful harvest, (Isaiah 55)! The Word that became flesh said:

"Man cannot live by bread alone, but by every Word that proceeds from the mouth of God,"
(Matthew 4:4).

We are to hide the Word of the Lord in our hearts so that we might not sin against God, (Psalm 119:105)! The Word of God is a sharp and fresh weapon against an old enemy: the sword of the Spirit, (Ephesians 6:17).

I want to encourage you to get into the Word of God and get the Word in you! Read it, study it word by word, memorize it, "eat" the Word, ponder it. And know this for real: Jesus is the living Word of God! The enemy could not defeat Him! The Word went down into hell and took back authority that had been misused! The Word of God holds the keys of death and hell, not satan! And remember, satan is not God's equal! God is far greater than that old devil! God's power is unmatchable!

 If you have to Word of God on your mind, in your heart, in your belly, there is no room for rebellion and stubbornness. If you truly love God with all of your heart, your mind, your soul, you will not have any desire for sin. You will desire purity and integrity and truth.

All sin branches out from fear rooted in your heart which leads to pride which leads to bondage in the enemy's camp.

"Come now, and let us reason together, says the Lord. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be like wool. If you are willing and obedient..." (Isaiah 1:18-19).

"...let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith..." says the writer of Hebrews, (Hebrews 12:1-2).

Is there something that God is asking you to do for His kingdom? Maybe you feel called to preach, or to help others in ways that may be outside of your comfort zone, maybe you feel called to pray for others. Whatever it is that God is telling you to do for His glory, do not miss the call! This is a season of second chances, God is redeeming the time and you cannot miss this window of time in His kingdom! Ignoring God's call is rebellion and stubbornness.

Overcome your fear with courage. Move forward. The Word will light your path.

Thought
If you disobey God now, will you regret it later?

Prayer
Lord God, move in us! Let your Word become alive in us! Open our eyes so that we can see what you are saying, open our ears to hear what you want us to do, give us courage to move forward. Strengthen us by your power and let your Holy Ghost breathe on us, Lord! In Jesus' name, Amen.

Read
1 Samuel 15, Hebrews 12

Song in my head: 'In your presence, all fear is gone! In your presence there's healing!' -Jason Upton

I Am the One Whom Jesus Loves!

I am the one whom Jesus loves!

How did this happen? I have been a Christian for a long time, but I had no real comprehension of the love of God. Then one day God decided that I needed to know: God loves me. I was watching Joyce Meyer online. She was talking about the love of God. The only reason I was watching her is because I felt the prompting of the Holy Spirit telling me to go to her website and watch her latest sermon. She told her listeners to do a Bible study on the love of God and to study it until you really get it: God loves me.

Can you look in the mirror and say those words: "God loves me!"?

I knew that the message Joyce Meyer was preaching online was for me because my Pastor had preached a similar sermon one year earlier. After hearing the divinely inspired sermon again, I went and found my notes and re-read them. Joyce Meyer and my Pastor were saying the same thing.

(By the way, they do not hang out. Not even sure if they know each other. This was simply the Lord's doing. I needed to hear the sermon twice.)

So I started talking to myself, when no one was looking, and I would go to the mirror and say stuff like this:

"God loves me. I am God's child. I have faith in God. God loves me...."

It was hard at first. In fact, I whispered the words to the mirror in the dark for the first few months. Sounds sooo silly, but the truth is that I began to see how much I did not feel that I deserved God's love! What?!

I turned the lights on earlier this year and began to say the words aloud to the mirror. I became bolder. I began to repeat the words over and over while driving. Now, whenever I can, I slip it into conversation. By the way, God loves me! In case I had not mentioned it earlier. And He loves you too!

I began to give God more honor and glory for all that He has done in my life. It was like God became my buddy for real! I feel Him shadowing me more now. Actually, He was always there, omnipresent, I am just more aware of Jehovah God. I am more aware of God my loving Father. God did it!

Did you know that God loves you too? God's love is far reaching. His love is so deep. His love is so wide. His love goes on for so long as if it has no end!

I want to encourage you to do a Bible study search on the love of God today, tonight, all week, all month, all year...until you really get it. God keeps doing stuff to get your attention. Did you see it? He keeps calling your name. Do you hear Him? God keeps putting people in your path to remind you of His love. Do you remember?

Saint John the Beloved, noted Joyce Meyer, really got it. He was immersed in God's love. Rested his head on Jesus. Put his trust in Jesus. He even put it in his writing: I am the one whom Jesus loves, he said, (John 13:23). But Jesus was not playing favorites. His love is evenly distributed. You have to reach for it in faith and watch how he pours out His love on you!

Thought
You are the one whom Jesus loves!

Prayer
Lord, help us to really get how much you love us! Take us deeper with you, Lord God! Cause us to see you when you move, when you speak, when you are trying to get our attention so that we can become fully immersed in your love. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Scripture
John 12-15, Romans 8:38-39

Song in My Head
Oh, love of God! How rich and pure! How immeasurable an strong! It shall forever more endure, this the saints and angels song. -old hymn

God's Timing

 God wants us to stop sitting at His spiritual green lights. Too many Christians are way too comfortable sitting in the warmth and coziness of green lights! Green means “GO!” So why are the green lights clogged up with lazy believers who do not want to move when God says move?

It could be fear keeping God's people from moving forward. It could be lack of inspiration. Or maybe we are asleep at the light?

Is God telling you to do something for Him today? Maybe you have a calling on your life to preach, or maybe you are called to pray for sick people, or to be an intercessor who stands in the gap praying on behalf of others, or maybe you are called to be a musician, or a teacher, or a singer on a worship team. Don't be a “bench warmer” at church sitting in the pew every Sunday and just eating the Word, getting warm fuzzies, getting fat and full, but never sharing your faith in any way shape or form!

It's time for God's people to move out from the green light before it turns red again. God's timing is perfect. We move when He says move and if we do not move when He says move we end up with deep regrets.

Don't sit at the green light. When God says “Go,” you go. Get out there and be and do what God wants you to be and do!

What if Abraham had said to God:

“I have to rent too many U-hal's to get all my stuff from here to the Promised Land.”

What if King David had said "no" to Samuel's anointing oil?

What if Jospeh decided not to forgive his brothers? Would his story have been in the Bible?

What is God speaking to you about doing for Him as you read this blog? Is it evangelism? Is God telling you to go talk to someone about Jesus today? Is god telling you to go pray over someone and encourage them?

Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit says the Lord!

Now, go make it a good day but go in the strength and Spirit of the one true living God. Take the gospel message of Jesus to someone today, but do it lovingly and with kindness.

Thought

Has God given you the green light? Are you moving forward or sitting still in fear?

Prayer

Dear God, help us to move when you say move! Increase our faith! Put a holy fire under us and give us strength to be and do everything you have called us to be and do for your glory. In Jesus' name, Amen!

Read

Matthew 5, Hebrews 12:1-2

Song In My Head

'The Lord has given us freedom, given us freedom, given us joy!' -Shekinah Glory Ministry

PERSISTENCE part three

God wants to know how much we want Him. He wants to know if we want Him at all. God is a living breathing, feeling being. Sometimes He will allow us to get into a place of spiritual desperation. Has this ever happened to you? It has happened to me several times. Each time, I have come closer to God.

Earlier this year, I was laying in the hospital with some serious kidney failure. The doctor said “surgery” among other things, and I stopped listening and started praying more intensely... In fact, this event in my life caused me to pray certain prayers that I never intended to pray at my age. I explained to the Lord that I was not ready to die because I really felt as if I could die from the sickness plaguing my body. God spoke to me about getting enough rest and balancing out my life. He also showed me some things that I still need to do for Him. It was not my time to die yet. But the entire experience took me much deeper in my relationship with God.

Today, I feel much better! It took several months to get fully well, but all glory and honor and praise goes to the Living God! God is my healer! Glory!

Persistence in God takes patience. Persistence in getting to know God can sometimes take patience. I found that all those times that I was waiting on God, He was waiting on me too! Doing God's will takes persistence and patience as well.

Patience is something that a lot of believers think they have already, but really do not have. A lot of people who do not have patience are quitters. Do you see the connection that I am making?

Think of an athlete training for the Olympics. This is not a task that you just sign up for the day before! It takes patience and persistence to train, to practice, to get your body in shape, to get your mind in the game, to be a team player...

The same with becoming a professional musician: it takes a lot of patient and technical practicing and persistence and consistence with the craft.

I encourage you to wait on God and do not give up! Be consistent in your pursuit of God. Be persistent in your relationship with God. Wait patiently on Him and He will meet you more than halfway. Jesus said:

“Blessed and fortunate and happy and spiritually prosperous (in that state in which the born-again child of God enjoys His favor and salvation) are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness (uprightness and right standing with God), for they shall be completely satisfied!” (Matthew 5:6 amplified).

Thought

Are you going through something that does not make sense? This is your opportunity to take time out and ask God to show you what it is that He is trying to teach you during this season. Be persistent in your pursuit of the one true Living God!

Prayer

Lord, please help those who are reading this blog and feel like giving up on you. Lord God, inspire them, surround them with your love, open their eyes to who you really are and reveal to them their destiny in you! Strengthen your children, Lord, we need you today. Give us hope for the future and wisdom in accomplishing the everyday things in order that we might get there. Show us how to glorify you in everything that we do. Blessed be the name of the Lord! In Jesus' name, Amen.

Read

Jeremiah 29:11, Matthew 5:6, Romans 2:7

Song In My Head

'The greatness of the Lord is inconceivable! The love that He shows is unconditional! The power of the Lord is unbeatable! Great is the God we serve! God is great! And greatly to be praised!' - Ricky Dillard