Note: I am taking a class at Fuller Theological
Seminary called SP500, Spiritual Traditions and Practices. I will be posting
some of my journal entries for this class here (which are not much different
from my previous posts). We are practicing different models of contemplative
prayer.
Week One, Entry One
Thursday, January 9, 2014 7-8:30 p.m.
The song "You Know Me" sung by
Steffany Frizzell is so deeply personal and beautiful. She sings as if she got
ahold of my heart song to God. I am overcome with gratitude to my LORD in this
moment! His LOVE is beyond description to me! The lyrics of this song resonate
with my soul’s cry to God. It cries out in adoration. Songs keep coming to mind
as I ponder Psalm 42. I find the songs on youtube and listen and meditate on
how God can fill my longing.
I listen to “As the Deer” sung by Misty Edwards
and several of her other songs. I am amazed at the nuances of God. He speaks to
me so clearly when my heart is still and open before Him.
Revelation
I hear God say to me: “I want to talk about you
and me.”
I am quiet before Him and listening. I hear my
body. I realize how tired I have been. My heart asks: Why are you so tired o my
soul?
Then He shows me: My body is throbbing with a dull pain. I did not realize the constant pain was making me tired. I had gotten
used to living with the pain. My kidneys are struggling to filter and they hurt. I am
suddenly sorrowful. I have not been good with myself. I was not listening. I must take more time to slow down and rest.
Vision
An angel takes me upwards into the second
heaven. He carries me and the trail behind us is like a shooting star! I feel like I am on the most amazing vacation!
I hear the strains of Misty Edwards singing:
‘Here O, Lord, have I prepared a resting place…here, O, Lord, I’ll wait for You
alone…’
God, as the song says, ‘come as close as You
want. Consume this heart that longs to burn…how I ache for YOU, God! Holy God!
Take my heart, purge it with flame and Truth! A holy heart is all I want that I
may live with YOU.’
I am back in my bedroom now and I know what I
need to do. I feel rested in my spirit. My body had time to catch up a bit.
Psalm 42:7-8 NIV
Deep calls out to deep in the roar of your
waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me. By day the LORD
directs His love, at night His song is with me—a prayer to the God of my life.
Week One, Entry Two
Sunday, January 12, 2014, 1 hour
Burn in me O, God
With YOUR holy fire
Consume me!
I will be a living sacrifice
Remove all unholy distractions
Focus me…
On You, God.
Let me see all of Your GOODNESS
Your Glory, God!
Show me Your face
Let me gaze upon Your beauty!
I am lovesick
I am hungry
I am thirsty
For more of You!
Burn in me, O God!
I lay myself down for You
Fill me up
Overflow in me, God
Breathe on me
With Your Holy Spirit
Put Your holy Light in me
Consume me
With Your LOVE!
Misty Edwards singing and leading worship "Soul Cry" excerpt
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